I have asked myself these questions regularly and at times I get frustrated not knowing the answers clearly. When things aren’t going according to my own plan, then I tend to get hostile towards God and start blaming Him for all my failures, closed doors, and unmet desires.

But, what’s wrong with this picture? Instead of first asking God about His plans, I rush ahead of Him and slam my own blueprint on the kitchen table telling Him, “You have to do things my way or else I’m leaving!” Or I can also take a bigger jab at His character by saying, “God, if You don’t do all this for me, then You’re really not loving or who You say you are as the Promise Keeper!”

Ouch! That looks like the formula for a bad marriage! If I was in a marriage and just threw requests at my spouse every time I saw him, then that one-sided marriage would quickly end or only exist as a lifeless corpse.

The same goes for our relationship with God. He created us for a personal relationship with Him as our Creator. Yes, that’s the number one reason we were created–to have perfect communion and communication with Him daily! If we only come to Him with our requests and arrogant plans without asking for His thoughts and opinions, then we are insulting the very reason that He created us.

James said it quite well, “How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog–it’s here for a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, ‘If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.’ Otherwise you are boasting about your own plans, and all such boasting is evil” (James 4:14-16 NLT).

Cachow! What a punch in the stomach of my BIG FAT EGO!!!

This truth woke me up yesterday! Am I really and sincerely praying for God’s will to be done in my life, in my family, and in this world? Or am I just stamping God’s “seal of approval” on all my own self-made plans?

God is our Heavenly Father; He loves us so much that He will remind us every single day of our purpose for being created and what He has in mind for our lives. But, the first step in knowing God’s will for your life is actually throwing away your own ideas of how you think your life should run and clearing the kitchen table for His blueprint. He cannot show you His own plans if yours are still taking up all the room on the table.

So, that’s what I decided to do today and every day–keep the kitchen table of my life clear of my own pride, arrogance, self-sufficiency, and ego, so that I can have God clearly show me His magnificent plans that are a thousand times better than mine could ever be! He created me for His glory and as I continue to direct all attention back to Him, then He will never fail to fulfill His purpose for my life.

What do you need to clear from your kitchen table?

Join me in reading these life-changing books and give your opinion about the book on this blog. We can never read too much or gain too much knowledge and understanding. Plus, this is a fun way for us to share this experience!

Let’s get reading!

January 2012 - Radical by David Platt

• In Radical, Taking Back Your Faith From the American Dream, David Platt challenged us to take a look at our lives and to forsake everything for the Gospel. Visit the Radical Book site for a free chapter download and other great resources.

February 2012 – Sun Stand Still by Steven Furtick

• “Does the brand of faith you live by produce the kinds of results in your life that you read about in the biblical stories of men and women of faith? Chances are, not even close.” But it doesn’t have to stay that way.

This “City of Dreamers,” as I like to call it, brings millions of people to it’s filthy streets each year to pursue a dream they cannot see. They have faith in the unseen forsaking family, homes, security, and normality to have one taste of stardom and glorious achievement.

I’ve lived here for almost two years now and contrived that my self-worth and hope cannot be in what auditions I book or don’t book. When an actor or talent go to an audition they have a very slim percentage of getting the part and they are subject to the director’s opinion for what the role should be. You will never be 100% qualified for each role, but people with faith in a dream never stop pursuing their destiny.

Author Bob Gass put it very well when he said: “God doesn’t do auditions and callbacks! That’s because He’s already designed a role for you that nobody else could fill. Even if others were to study you endlessly they still couldn’t be you. When God says, ‘I know you by name and you have found favor with me’ (Ex33:12), be careful about responding to any other call except the one that come from Him. Since God designed you with all the built-in qualifications you need, you don’t have to compromise your convictions, manipulate, drop names or do special favors. The part is yours! And don’t be jealous or intimidated by anybody else no matter how talented they are. In God’s eyes there are no other contenders; you’re it! You’re the only one who can fill the slot because He created it with you in mind. When you feel insecure and unqualified, remind yourself of that.”

Do you feel disqualified or looked over by the world? Did you have hopes dashed last year with set-backs and disappointments? You’re not alone. We ALL experience failure and unexpected calamities in this life, but there is a greater hope that sees us past each season and walks with us through every fire. It’s God and His love for us.

Hopelessness is all around us in 2012 with financial disaster worldwide, political unrest, wars, famine, violence, and sorrow. Do you have the answer for all these problems? I sure don’t have it within myself. The only way we can bring hope and healing to this world is by stepping into the role that God qualified us for from the beginning of time. When we begin living the life that He specifically and uniquely designed for us, then we will be more effective than ever before!

What’s your HOPE for 2012? Where are you putting your hope and how are you going to impact the world? There’s one God of HOPE who has designed you to help Him bring HOPE to this world.

HOPE2012

I think the human side of us would honestly consider these solutions if we were in the horrific circumstance Mary experienced 2,000 years ago. When faced with the reality of  certain death for both her and her baby, Mary learned a new type of faith that only comes through great trials and believing in a promise of God that seemed idiotic and foolish to the rest of the world. She gulped her faith and stood strong even in the face of death.

Yet, God did not allow her to be stoned or killed; Mary’s faith not only birthed the Savior of the world, but also birthed a new level of faith in the supernatural God.

What is your view of Christmas? Do you see it as a time of celebration with family and friends to eat delicious food and open presents? Or have you begun to see it as something different?

I’ll be honest. This Christmas is quite different than any other I’ve ever encountered. For in the face of death and absolute destruction, I found grace from a Savior and a new level of faith to stand in the face of opposition. My view of Christmas has changed–it now represents the birth of the One who ransomed my life from literal and eternal death, but it also represents a gift of new life and new beginnings. From divorce and destitution to joy and freedom in my singleness, I am discovering a whole new view of Christmas!

Author Bob Gass said, “He can give you victory in the place of defeat and turn last year’s humiliation into this year’s celebration!”

What was your humiliation in 2011 and how will it become your celebration for 2012? That’s what Mary did. She turned her humiliation into the greatest celebration of human history! If she could do it, so can we.

Merry Christmas my friend. Let these words of hope and power soak into your heart today, and know that you’re never alone and God has not given up on you.

It was seven o’clock and my arms were already tired from pulling my 45-pound suitcase through the Dallas Fort Worth Airport. I got through security quickly and made my way to my gate. My flight to Los Angeles was still on time and would be leaving within the hour.

I had just convened a memorable Thanksgiving vacation with my family and was heading back to Los Angeles. It was so good to get away from the rat race of Hollywood and spend quality time with family watching movies, playing games, reminiscing about old times, and eating home-cooked meals!

Though it was sad to say goodbye to my family, I knew that God needed me to go back to Los Angeles to continue my work in Hollywood.

We boarded the flight and I made my way to the tenth row. I put my carry-on in the overhead bin and sat down next to a middle-aged woman with dark brown hair and a navy blue coat. I buckled my seat belt and the cabin door shut.

The woman seemed to be fixated on something outside the plane; she kept looking out the window and never moved from her gazing position. I was a bit puzzled, but I just shrugged my shoulders and got my iPad out to listen to some tunes.

Ten minutes into the flight, she broke her trance and looked around the plane for the first time. Then she looked at me and before she could look back at the window I asked, “Are you from Dallas or Los Angeles?”

“I grew up in Los Angeles, but I’ve lived in Dallas the past ten years.”

She had a sweet, gentle demeanor, but a forced smile that showed signs of fatigue. Her lips quickly shut and pursed a slight frown. You’re going to save this woman’s life, Jennifer, I heard the Lord tell me. How could I save this woman’s life, God? She seems completely normal and fine to me!

I didn’t argue anymore with God. I just turned my attention to the mysterious soul next to me and began listening as she unraveled her story.

The next two hours of the flight were a non-stop conversation. This 42-year-old woman, who I will call Brenda for the sake of confidentiality, began sharing as if we were best friends. She was flying to Los Angeles for the next seven days to decide whether to stay married after 24 years of marriage. She unveiled her frustrations about life, marriage, family pressures, work, and how something was terribly missing in her life. Lord, now I know why you wanted me to sit here.

With tears and laughter I listened to each detail of her story. My heart was laden with compassion for this broken woman. After she took a few breaths, I began sharing about my own divorce and how God radically changed my heart through the hellish circumstances. I caught her eyes and said, “Remember, pain is pain whether you’ve been married one year or forty years, it still hurts. And you will experience pain whether you stay married or get a divorce, but you need to seek God’s will for your marriage and your life.”

She smiled as tears streamed down her rosy, round cheeks. “You’re right Jennifer. I just wish I knew the right answer.”

“Well, the best thing for you would be to pray and bring Jesus into the center of your life and marriage…that’s the only thing that kept me alive when I thought my life was literally over.”

She was silent for a second, thought about my words, and then began sharing about her childhood of being raised in a strong Christian church in Long Beach, California. She knew Jesus and experienced His love, but it had been many years since she had surrendered all to Him.

Just as I began to share about the dark nights that led me closer to Jesus, our plane dropped altitude! Screams and profanity filled the air! “Whoa! What’s happening?” I yelled as luggage shifted, lights flickered, and people grabbed their drinks from spilling. In one second, the whole plane had become an incubator of chaos!

Brenda looked at me with a ghostly expression. “What do you think happened, Jennifer?”

Honestly, I didn’t know how to answer her at that moment. What’s really happening, God? Are we going to die?

“Well…I’m not sure, Brenda. This is really scary and I have no clue what’s going on, but here…” I grabbed her hand and we began praying out loud.

I didn’t know what to say except repeat the name of Jesus over and over again. Brenda didn’t know what to say either, so she did the same thing as we closed our eyes to block out the daunting scene.

Finally, a flight attendant came on the loud speaker, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I apologize for the turbulence…We are experiencing extreme winds and need you to all stay in your seats with your seat belts fastened…”

That was it? That’s all the explanation they could give? Where are we, God? Please help! I’m so scared!

The turbulence subsided for about five minutes and you could hear sighs of relief throughout the plane. The girls across the aisle from me had their vomit bags out and were ready to lose their peanuts!

“Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We just received word that LAX has lost all power and we will be re-routing to another airport. Please be patient and calm.”

Patient and calm! Why is LAX out of power? Was it a terrorist attack? How will I get home?  The questions were swirling just as fast as the air outside the Plexiglas window where I could see death awaiting. What’s going on, God?

“Jennifer, I’m so scared.” Brenda was still tightly gripping my right hand and sniffing back tears. “I don’t want to die yet…I didn’t get a chance to tell my husband I love him. He dropped me off at the airport and I left without saying ‘I love you.’ I’m so scared that I’ll die with regrets!”

She was being consumed by panic and I was at a lost for words, but then God gave me the solution. “Brenda, let’s pray that God will save us and give you one more chance to tell your husband how much you love him.”

She nodded and we squeezed the other’s hand as we prayed fervently while the turbulence became stronger.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain again. Thank you for your patience and for staying calm. We are going to make an emergency landing into Palm Springs. Please stay in your seat with your seat belt fastened.”

Then, the real rollercoaster began. The plane began riding the wind like a surfboard on Hawaiian waves. Stomachs began to roll and the screams died down to an eerie silence. Brenda and I kept our eyes shut while praying and holding hands. At this point, I didn’t care who heard me praying the name of Jesus! If these were my last moments alive, then there’s only One Person who could save me or take me to heaven!

We got through the worst of it and the overhead bell rang to prepare for landing. I could see hope rising in the eyes of the people. We looked out the window to see the runway and made it to the ground. No one moved, clapped, or flinched. We were all glued to our seats.

The flight attendant got on the intercom, “Ladies and Gentlemen, we have safely made it to Palm Springs. We just received word that LAX has power again. We will still provide a shuttle for any passengers wanting to take the two-hour ride to Los Angeles or you can wait on the plane while we refuel and get to LAX in thirty minutes. If you want to take the shuttle, please get your bags and make your way to the front of the plane.”

I looked at Brenda with fright. What should I do? It would be safer to take the ground shuttle to L.A. and be sure to get home safe rather than die!

“I feel like we’re on Titanic and we have to decide who’s getting in the boats! What are you going to do, Brenda?” She gave me a blank stare. I waited for a few seconds then unlocked my seat belt and opened the overhead bin to grab my bag and purse.

“I think I’m going to stay. Are you leaving, Jennifer?”

I was so confused at that moment with my own sense of survival, but then God said: Jennifer, you need to stay with Brenda. Even if you die on this next flight, I want you to make sure she knows Me so you can both stand before me in heaven.

Wow…my gut dropped to the ground. What are You thinking? Are You asking me to sacrifice my own life for a stranger!!!

I sucked in oxygen and smiled pensively as I put my bag back in the overhead bin and sat down next to Brenda. “I’m going to stay.” Her face transformed from fear to relief in a second.

The cabin door shut and I knew that this was it…this was my time to actually imitate Christ by laying down my life for someone else, a stranger who I had just met. Prayers swarmed my spirit and I asked God for all the peace of heaven at that moment. O Lord, give me the strength to die for Brenda.

Tears stung my eyes. Be with my mom and dad and all my family. Tell them how much I love them, God!  The petitions of love poured from my heart, and I knew that I was at peace with God and Man. I was ready to die.

The plane took off and as soon as we began gaining altitude the turbulence heightened, but this time no one made a sound. Brenda held my hand and shut her eyes in prayer. I could see a few tears trickling down her lovely face.

Jennifer, I want you to sing! Sing about My love and faithfulness! I am your strong tower and the Calmer of the storm!

Okay Lord, I’ll sing. This is the only thing that will keep my heart calm anyways!

I began singing, “Jesus, Jesus, my Jesus. There’s just something about that name…” I tried to not be loud, but just kept my eyes shut and focus on the Lord. There was only One God who could save me and He was the only audience that mattered at that moment, but little did I know that the passengers were listening and God had a captive audience.

I sang more songs: “I love you, Lord,” “Great is Thy Faithfulness,” and ended with “Amazing Grace.” I just kept singing and before we knew it the plane landed on the airstrip at LAX. We made it!  Praise God!

The entire plane erupted with applause and cheers! “We’re home safe!” I shouted, “Thank You, Jesus!”

Brenda turned to me with the biggest grin, “Jennifer that was beautiful…thank you! You gave me hope and now I have hope for everything else.”

A few tears toppled down my cheeks. “Brenda, this was not a mistake. God had us sit together for a reason. Promise me you’ll ask Him to show you His heart and perfect will for your marriage. Don’t block Him from your heart.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

With those few simple words, we hugged and said our goodbyes as we snatched our luggage to walk off the plane.

That plane ride not only changed Brenda’s life, but also challenged mine. As I walked to baggage claim, God asked: Were you ready to die for Brenda? Would you die for a stranger or even an enemy?

Yes, God. I was ready to die, but thank you for keeping me alive. I guess You have a lot more for me to do before I leave this earth. But, I surrender…my life is completely Yours. From this day forward I will do everything possible to reach the hungry and hurting because today may be my last. 

Are you ready to meet God today? Are you willing to die even for the soul of another?

“This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command” (John 15:12-14 NLT).
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I apologize for the long absence from my blog. I’ve been quite busy the last six months completing my new book “His Bride” that’s actually coming out in 2012!

I am excited to share this book with you because it’s not only a first-person autobiography of the horrendous heartache I experienced the past two years, but also about the miraculous redemption that literally saved my life from the grave.

I hope you will be as inspired and healed as I was by this book. I will testify that I was the first person to be healed by this book and I know many more hearts will benefit from it also.

If you want to learn more about “His Bride,“ go to www.hisbridebook.com and sign up for the Monthly E-Newsletter under the CONTACT LINK! My publishing team will be sending out monthly updates about the release of the book, workbook, music album, conference dates for when I’ll be speaking on this topic, and new books that I will also be publishing this next year! You don’t want to miss out! 

THIS COULD BE YOUR YEAR OF CHANGE!!!

We each have good and bad experiences in our lives and regardless of how great or small our pain is in comparison to that of others…it still hurts and has caused us to be who we are today. So, take the time to let these words of hope and positivity sink into your heart today!

This is a place of trust, respect, and openness. Thank you for your hearts and for being your beautiful selves!

“Beauty does not come from what we are given, but from what is created out of the ugliness of our lives.” ~ Jennifer BoGray

Tonight is a BIG night! Who do you think will go home after the first week? Give me your opinion and watch tonight on ABC at 8/7 Central! Don’t miss it!

Nicole Scherzinger and Derek Hough danced the Viennese Waltz to Hold You In My Arms by Ray LaMontagne.Erin Andrews rehearsing for her dance.

Many people in our country have thought these things for years or something similar. The “American Dream” has been beaten into us so much from the time we are children that to think that there is anything more successful than a career is foolish! WHY????

We define ourselves by our jobs, cars, houses, pets, childrens’ successes, and traveling exploits. We think it’s foolish to live in a simple one-bedroom apartment to pay off school loans

The American Dream

instead of paying higher rent for a larger home and postpone our indebtedness.

Personally, I am just as guilty. I have to daily remind myself of the endless joys that I am given and that I have the privilege of enjoying time with those I love. Yes, my husband and I have daily jobs that pay our bills and give us the little luxuries that we enjoy together, but we don’t define ourselves or our happiness on whether we get a promotion or a raise. Life is too short to place that kind of pressure on our shoulders.

My probelm is that I look at others too much. I base my happiness on the things that I don’t have. It’s a struggle at times to park my silver Honda Civic next to the new Jaguar or Lexus at work, but then I slap myself and say, “Hey, Jen, you are blessed! Don’t forget how excited you were to get this car when your old car was totalled in an accident two years ago!” Yep, my mind was brought back to reality!

Ask yourself: What are you controlled by and will it bring a smile to your face in 30 years?

Re-think your priorities and join me in being grateful for our many blessings. We’re alive and have today to enjoy!